Shining
I.IV.IV
SHINING
My time in ortho was practically a blur. There was this unspoken camaraderie between us junior doctors, while the seniors mostly kept to themselves, tied up in outpatient clinics and theatre all day long.
As always, I’d go in early to do my pre-rounds and check up on our patients. Then I’d brief Emily, and when our seniors showed up, we’d do the sprint round. On most days, we’d be done by 10AM, giving one of us the opportunity to head home and get on with our day. But the closer Emily and I became, the less we actually did that. We enjoyed each other’s company way too much. We’d talk about our love lives, career prospects, adulthood problems, and anything and everything in between. I’d give her head massages that resulted in nest hair, and she’d lick my wenis simply cause it sounds questionable when you say it. And yes, just in case you’re wondering, we absolutely made everyone around us uncomfortable. Hell, she became one of my best friends in less than a month, much like Alessia had during the previous rotation.
As tight-knit as we’d become, there was one house officer no one particularly liked. Dr Criminal, as he shall henceforth be known, was a catastrophically lazy and negligent doctor who did everything within his remit to avoid work. Unfortunately, Emily often found herself on-call with him. During his shifts, most nurses would bypass him entirely and call Emily instead. During hers, she’d end up redoing much of what he should’ve done. He frequently failed to review unwell patients in a timely manner and discharged others without adequate plans, leading to repeated near-misses and serious complications. Despite all that, the only real consequence he faced was being held back a year after taking time off without approval.
I, on the other hand, was thriving. I did my work thoroughly and consistently. The nurses loved me – they knew they could rely on me, and my work spoke for itself. But, as it turns out, too much of a good thing can also backfire.
After weeks of Blair running late and not knowing basic details about our patients, much to Mr Chaos’s disapproval, he finally snapped. We were standing outside the ward, right next to some patients’ relatives, when he decided to unleash his outburst. It was him and Blair facing each other, with Emily and me off to the side. After he was done screaming his lungs out, he pointed at me and yelled, “Why is a house officer outshining you? Why is he always on time and knows everything about our patients when you’re supposed to be his senior?!” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.
Of course, we all knew he wasn’t wrong. She was meant to be there for us, not the other way around. Time and time again, we’d make excuses on her behalf – “She’s stuck in traffic”, “She’s feeling unwell”, “She’s busy in outpatients”. As brilliant a surgeon as she was, her clinical work and professionalism left a lot to be desired. That said, that was neither the right place nor the right time to call her out, especially in front of her juniors. And to be fair, Emily pulled just as much weight as I did.
Over those three months, he made no effort to hide his favouritism. He’d barge into our office, scan the room, and once he spotted me, he’d announce, “Good morning, Marius, shall we start?” as if the rest of the team didn’t exist. Totally not on. But maybe, it was more than favouritism. Maybe, it was pure and outright sexism. And the more I thought about it, the harder it became to ignore the pattern. Praise flowed easily in one direction, while criticism pooled around the women in the room. I can’t say I didn’t resent him for it. As much as I loved being the golden boy for once, as much as I enjoyed the spotlight and having my work recognised, this wasn’t the way it should’ve happened.
Despite that, I can honestly say it was my best rotation so far. Mostly cause I’d become joined at the hip with Emily by the end, and also cause I genuinely loved both the specialty and the department. Plus, after one whole year as a doctor, I finally felt as if I was on the right path to get me to my goal: becoming a surgeon.