Today
V.II.II
TODAY
Today… Today I am a doctor. Today I sit here, incredulous and in disbelief as I write this sentence. Today, I am a doctor. Against all odds, despite all the obstacles, today, I am a doctor.
I was surrounded by my best friends when the results came out. I wasn’t emotionally overwhelmed or particularly excited. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was already on a buzz from all the mojitos and G&T’s – the whole title change thing didn’t really take me to the high you’d expect. Once, I’d heard that once you’re in med school, there’s about a 95% chance you’ll graduate. Hardest part is getting in, that’s it. Graduating is the norm. Granted, the course isn’t easy, but it shapes you into a person who can deal with its ever-increasing hardships, even though some insecurity and anxiety always manage to seep through.
And so, I had no doubt we’d all make it. When the results came out I was like, “Oh, okay, confirmed, we’re doctors now!” I don’t know whether it was cause I was so objective about the whole thing or cause it hadn’t sunk in yet, but that’s all I could muster at that time.
Later, all sobered up and ready to party some more, I got to my room and for the first time that day I was on my own. It suddenly hit me. I was a doctor. “I’m going to save lives.” The words reverberated just as loudly as they had when I’d gotten my A-level results. I had friggin done it, we had done it! Man, I couldn’t stop gushing for the life of me. I’m talking Tobey Maguire ugly crying here.
Suddenly it stopped being something I’d been expecting and it turned into this great, wonderful achievement that I had worked so hard for. All the time, the energy, the sacrifices that went into getting that degree… Right then, at that very second, I could appreciate how much work I’d put into it. From that one single episode of Grey’s Anatomy to that very moment, I had chased this goal incessantly, always striving to achieve the thing I’d set my eyes on. Sure, there were ups and downs, but my determination never wavered. I was in it for the long haul.
And then I thought about my support system. All throughout the course I never really thought much about the support I received. I thought I’d gotten there all on my own, that’s it. Well, maybe I could’ve, but I wasn’t on my own at all. I’ve made the best kinds of friends during these five years. Friends who today I consider family. Friends who have been by my side through thick and thin. Friends who have sailed over the rough seas of the course alongside me.
And as much as I appreciate the role they played, I owe it all to one person, the very same person that gave me my life’s blood: my dad. The person who made it possible for me to set off on this journey. The person who encouraged me every step of the way. The person who would have liked to be by my side the most on this very special day. The person I would have liked to be by my side the most. It breaks my heart not having him here with me today to celebrate our accomplishment. I still remember him dashing out of our house to tell everyone I’d be studying medicine the day I received my results five years ago. And I’m sure he would’ve done the same exact thing were he still here today. And that gives me comfort unlike anything else.
And now, after years of chasing this dream, I finally get to live it. The chapter closes, the credits roll… but the story’s nowhere near done.Tomorrow, I show up not as a student, but as the doctor I fought so hard to become.