END OF FY I

Blink once, and a year passes by. That’s exactly how it felt on my very last day as a Foundation Year 1 Doctor. All those excruciatingly long, seemingly endless hours spent at hospital distilled into a single year – which, in hindsight, felt like just a few minutes.

In just one year, I went from being an insecure, uncertain idiot who questioned every single thing to a somewhat overconfident jock who felt like the world was at his feet. I fancied myself as one of the good ones – reliable, friendly, knowledgeable, skilful. Granted, I was also aware of my flaws and weaknesses – and there were still many of those. Like how I’d get flustered when I had too many things on my plate. Like how cocky and arrogant I’d become without fully realising it. Or how I’d let other doctors’ ineptitude get to me. I still struggled with all of that – even if I was now more mindful of it.

During the year, we were also expected to work on our e-portfolio – a web-based system where we’d submit case discussions, document certain procedures we’d carried out, and so on. One component was the Team Assessment of Behaviour (TAB), where feedback is gathered from the staff you work with. I’m not much of a humblebragger, but I’ll go ahead and admit that my assessment was stellar. Reading comments from patients, doctors, nurses, and other healthcare professionals alike, I felt not only appreciated and respected, but genuinely acknowledged. Whilst I’m not usually one to seek validation, I can’t deny it felt good to have the hard work and effort I’d put into my job recognised.

And so, all in all, I felt as though I was heading down the right path. That I was meant to be doing this after all. That if I kept putting in the work, I would actually become an extraordinary doctor.