Reflections: After Malta
And that’s pretty much it. Over a period of a year, I stopped seeing Malta as a prison and started to see life as enjoyable even from the confines of such a small island.
Some of the things I’d enjoy doing whilst I was on my trip, I could easily do here – like hanging up a hammock on my terrace for when I’d want some me-time, running out into the sea and feeling freer than ever, or going out of my way to watch a sunset. Some of the things I’d dread about this place were ones I was faced with time and time again whilst abroad and never complained about – say the sweltering summer heat, the unending traffic jams, or stupid bureaucratic crap.
But then there was another thing that trumped the rest – the monotony of daily life. Sure, I don’t get to trek mountains or swim in rivers or walk on glaciers here, but I could always dive or hike or try my hand at new skills. And, most importantly, when I wouldn’t be able to, I’d have my journal, my photos, the friends I’ve made, the music I listened to, and documentaries keeping my thirst for knowledge alive – reminding me of all that I had managed to see and do! Just like that, the memories I had made over the past year would be kept alive.
The 24th of July marked a special occasion – my two-month Maltaversary and a year from when I started my gap year.
Looking back on the day when I left the clutches of my hospital and a life that held me back from happiness in more ways than one, I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. Back then, it felt as if leaving was a mistake. Now? Now I can definitely say it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I felt the need to follow my gut and that’s what I did, leaving everything behind for something uncertain.
In so doing, I ended up decimating the very same foundation I had managed to build over the years. I ended up questioning everything about my life and all that matters to me. I felt as if I have cracked open the glass box I had locked myself in and was now free to do whatever it is I wanted to do. Whilst this new version of me was still riddled with doubts and uncertainties, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It meant I’d have endless opportunities ahead of me. It meant that finally, I am free.