AFTERWORD
AFTERWORD
More than anything else, this part is a letter to myself. I find myself sitting here writing the final words of this journal in the comfort of my own home after this one incredible year. I look back onto all my journal entries and all the photos I’ve taken and find myself in pure disbelief. I have done all of this. I have seen all of that. I still can’t quite believe it. Also, I’m a friggin’ badass!
I thought that at the end of this year I’d be wrought with grief. Instead, I look back on this incredible year with a sense of fulfilment unlike any other. I have no regrets, no “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve”s. I cherished every single moment and was constantly mindful of the privilege of getting to do such things. I wouldn’t go back to change a single thing (except for the tank-dropping thing, of course). I truly made the most of my time. I knew those days would be the good old days and that they’d fly by, and that made me appreciate every single moment even more.
As I lay here on a hammock – staring right at my Cutila tattoo, my scars and bruises, and my callused feet, I can’t help but feel as if I’m looking at a different person. I’ve always prided myself on being open to change, and this year, I can say with even more pride, that’s exactly what I did – on a larger and much grander scale than ever before. Not only have I left my comfort zones behind to go on such an extraordinary trip, but I’ve done things I never thought I could. I’ve pushed myself to my very limits and I’ve come out stronger and better than ever. But, most importantly, I broke free of the limits I set on myself. I managed to break free of my past and everything that held me back for so long and started living in the present whilst looking forward to all that life has in store for me.
More than anything, I wanna keep the spirit of exploration burning brighter than ever. I wanna see the cherry blossoms in Japan, the pyramids in Egypt, the Big Five in Africa, and the mud volcanoes in Azerbaijan, encountering the rest of the Wonders of the World. I wanna dive and get to know more of the underwater world. I wanna continue reading and writing with as much avidity as I have throughout this journey. I wanna preserve the curiosity and thirst for knowledge I’ve fostered over this year to learn more about nature and the world. I wanna continue watching sunsets and stargazing and making time for myself and my thoughts. I wanna chill on a hammock and run to the sea feeling as free as ever.
And most of all, I wanna do the things I’ve been doing all throughout, like trekking and setting my eyes on vistas unlike any other. I wanna do things I’ve only just begun to do, like surfing and paddleboarding. And, I wanna try my hands at new skills, like skiing, sailing, skateboarding, rollerblading, and whatever else it is I may want to try.
And I look forward to doing all of that whilst training as an emergency physician. I’ll be doing something I love whilst working hard to achieve my goal of becoming an expedition medic – or, as I’ve grown to realise, to do whatever it is that makes me happy, be it becoming an extraordinary doctor and travelling all over the world or becoming something I never even saw coming. And in doing that, I hope to remain as enthusiastic about everything life has to offer. I wanna be an excellent doctor – but I also wanna be a pirate. I’ll do both. I swear.
I have the option to look back onto this year as an incredible holiday. A chapter that has now been closed. I could look back onto it and mourn its loss. Or, on the other hand, I can look back on it as the start of something new. A life-changing experience that has shaped my life forever and impermeably. I stand here today full of excitement. I can’t wait to see what my future holds in store for me. I can’t friggin’ wait!