Utila – Week 1, Day 7: The Hell Dive
UTILA
Week 1
Day 7: The Hell Dive
November 19, 2022
With Emma and Julia gone and myself having committed to becoming a divermaster, I found myself settling into a new routine. I’d wake up, spend a few minutes thanking the universe for giving me the life I had while staring at the terrace and the sea, go freshen up, have the usual egg, cheese and bacon sandwich whilst chatting with Joel, Kim or Samantha – the guys at the bar – and then head off for a dive.
The second day of the Rescue course was pretty much a repetition of the first, but this time it’d be held in open water and we’d practise some additional skills. Of note, we had to search for and recover a ‘lost’ item, using different patterns to track it down. Needless to say, my first attempt was a complete and total blunder. A Barney soft toy with a weight belt strapped onto it was completely hidden in coral and, despite my ‘acceptable’ navigation, I couldn’t find it for the life of me. We then restarted the entire exercise and, finally, I could see the purple dinosaur lying mockingly in a tiny sand patch a few metres away.
The second run-through of the unresponsive diver scenario we had practiced the day before didn’t feature any hair mishaps, although I did forget to unbuckle the chest strap from Ava’s BCD this time – meaning I almost strangled her to death the second the entire thing came off behind her back.
Then came the fun part – the following dive would be what they call the ‘hell dive’. Basically, this involved twenty minutes of Rachel, Adah and Ava coming up with all sorts of problems whilst underwater – from using their snorkels instead of their regs to wearing their masks upside down, from purging our regs to taking off their BCDs. Whilst Rachel was giving hell to Leah, I found myself dealing with the other two DMTs all alone, going from one thing to another without a single break. But, with all confidence, I can say I handled it like a boss!
After a short break, Leah and I got to sit our final exam and finish the course. Despite putting Ava through hell, I somehow managed to pass and get my certification – meaning I was finally ready to join Amelia and start my divemaster training! Unfortunately, Natalie 2 had gotten so seasick on the boat that she couldn’t do the second part and would have to try again sometime later.
Paging Dr Marius (The Other One)
Being a doctor and now a newly certified rescue diver, I found myself being sought after by many of Underwater Vision’s guests. It just so happened that Dr Marius had gone to the mainland for a few days to enjoy some well-deserved rest, and now, people thought I was the Dr Marius. They’d come to me complaining of anything and everything – from infected sandfly bites to painful ears after diving, from nasty abrasions to gastroenteritis, from viral symptoms to headaches.
For the first time in months, I felt like a doctor again. I can’t say it’s not annoying to be conducting informal medical consults all day, but, in all fairness, it’s the closest I’d been to practising real medicine. I found myself disinfecting wounds and applying dressings, recommending which medications one should and shouldn’t take, and educating people on bogus medical practices (like disinfecting wounds with hydrogen peroxide) and preventive medicine (say, for example, that condoms are actually useful). I can’t say diagnosing a case of decompression illness and a ruptured tympanic membrane didn’t bring me any joy, especially after being away from work for months.
It felt so, so good to be back doing something vaguely similar to what I’d done day in, day out for the better part of the previous two years. I missed medicine – my one true passion – dearly, and not a day had gone by during this trip that I wouldn’t think to myself that I’d be happier if I could practise medicine while still getting to enjoy all the world has to offer.
Just like that, it seemed my life was close to perfect. Diving, medical consults, me-time, hanging out, partying, enjoying the island life. It felt enough for me, and I could definitely get used to this new routine.
Old Man Energy, Young Island Vibes
Having decided to do our DMT together, Amelia and I quickly started to bond. She’s this tiny, petite, blonde Austrian chick who has travelled all over the world (as evidenced by her backpack that’s covered in flags) and had been diving since the age of ten (and had logged a substantial amount of dives by that time). Getting her divemaster certification in Utila had been a dream of hers, and now, she was finally making it happen!
Given that we were now sharing a room, you can imagine all the gossip flying around the dive shop – with everyone assuming we were hooking up. Funnily enough, it had been a week of constant drinking and partying and I hadn’t even thought about sex. It felt like I’d taken an oath of celibacy and had been revirginising without even realising it. I think it’s the fact that, by then, I was completely invested in diving, and it wasn’t just a mere hobby anymore. I didn’t want any distractions – I wanted to focus on this new passion. Meanwhile, Amelia was now heavily flirting with Louis, a divemaster from Quebec (who earned my approval by giving me the last piece of his XXX chocolate cake).
This is how I got dubbed Underwater Vision’s very own Old Man – a title I found quite fitting. I always say I’m an old soul, and this only seemed to prove it. I like my coffee more than I do alcohol, I tend not to overexert myself when I can help it, I complain all the time about every single thing (that’s also part of being Maltese), and, on some days, 8 PM is a very sensible bedtime.
And so, I revelled in my newfound celibacy whilst the kids went out and hooked up with whomever, and had their fun. I’d join in on occasion but most of the time, I’d pass up on some party or another in order to relax and recuperate.
Stay wild,
Marius
Post-Scriptum
In between the two Rescue course dives, we heard news of yet another whale shark sighting. Lemme just say – swimming with yet another whale shark was something I never expected to do (considering it was still off-season here in Utila!). And, just as an FYI, – it never gets old!