Utila – Week 1, Day 2: Team Crackhead
UTILA
Week 1
Day 2: Team Crackheads
November 14, 2022
Finally, the day I’d been waiting for ever since finishing my PADI Open Water course back in Belize had arrived. The girls and I met up for breakfast, though Julia had to quickly abscond – her PADI Rescue course started early with theory. Emma and I, on the other hand, spent our morning chatting with some others from Underwater Vision, including Chad, a guy from the UK, and Clarissa – a girl from the States – who’d be joining us for the Advanced.
With every passing second, I found myself trembling with excitement at the thought of diving again. By that point in time, I had only logged five dives – meaning I was nay but a baby diver. However, with my rediscovered love for the ocean, I wanted this to become something I’d do more often. Very little things gave me the same joy and pleasure of being out in the open sea enjoying marine life – something I had learned during those five dives and all the snorkelling I had done so far. The Advanced course would serve just that purpose – to bring me closer to the sea and all it has to offer. I was so ready to dive in!
Aboard the Miss Tamara
Noon couldn’t come soon enough. All elated, Emma, Chad, Clarissa and I headed to the pier where we were introduced to Noah and Liam, two instructors, and David, a divemaster trainee – all from Israel.
We started off with a summary of what the course would entail and then moved on to a basic refresher on setting up our gear – something Emma and I were more than grateful for considering we had forgotten most of it. After this, we’d be going on a couple of boat dives during which we’d be practicing some skills to improve our techniques. We’d be riding the Miss Tamara with Captain Hoover, a beloved local who’s practically the face of Underwater Vision. About ten others were joining too – some doing different courses, others just fun dives.
Noah, a golden-blonde, long-haired rugged guy, performed the roll call, then burst into a clearly well-rehearsed speech in one breath: “Welcome on board the Miss Tamara, give it up for Captain Hoover! Safety rules are no shoes, no flip-flops, no smoking, no running and most of all, no peeing in the wetsuits – it’s disgusting! This is a two-tank dive so after the first dive, don’t replace the cap on the used one. On the boat we have [proceeds to list gear] and our staff are [proceeds to list crew]. Let’s have some fun!”
Stingray Point Shenanigans
Once we were settled and the boat set off, Noah and Liam called us to the front for a briefing. Our first dive would be at a site called Stingray Point, where we’d descend to a max depth of 30 metres – a massive jump from the 18 we’d done in Open Water.
We were expected to perform basic skills we’d already done before, plus some near-zero-effort ones, like looking at a colour slate to observe how colours fade with depth, watching a plastic toy compress under pressure, and other exercises so simple even a monkey could manage them. And yet, ironically, a monkey would’ve probably remembered to open their gas tank – unlike Emma and me. We only realised during the buddy check, seconds before taking the plunge.
Finally, all geared up (and tanks fully open), we were ready. One giant stride and splash – we were in. We did a five-point descent and just like that, we belonged to a different world. A bluer, more viscous one, where time seems to freeze and wonder takes over. Honestly, the skills were the last thing on my mind. I was diving again – and deeper than ever! To be fair, it felt exactly the same as it did at 18 metres, albeit the air runs out quicker at such depths. Regardless of depth, it felt so, so good to be back! To look at all the beautiful coral (which looked so much duller at such depth), and fish (with the vast majority I had already seen back in Belize). It felt like I was free once again – like a mermaid that had all the sea to herself!
Back on the surface, we changed our tanks and had time to chat as we motored to the next site. As we laid there, soaking up the sun and the post-dive bliss, we recounted all the things we’d seen and all the fails we’d done. I couldn’t remember much of that dive – mostly cause it flew by. I was distracted by the beauty all around and the occasional skills we had to perform. That said, I did remember I had some buoyancy issues – which is normal for a beginner. Meanwhile, Emma kept on beating herself up for having trouble equalising her ears – something not entirely within her control.
Our conversation then turned to the casual. Emma told us she had just finished law school, much like myself, was on a gap year. Chad’s profession elicited a jaw-drop moment that left us all speechless. When he told us he works in a chocolate factory back in the UK, this old German guy piped up, saying it was only fitting he worked there “given his skin colour.” Stunned into silence, Emma and I exchanged an incredulous look with Chad – and right there, we welcomed him into our unofficial crew.
Compass Calamities at Pretty Bush
Once at the next dive site, Noah gathered us again and announced our second dive: Pretty Bush – which, contrary to our initial assumptions, was a coral formation, not a dodgy euphemism. For this dive, Liam would join Emma and me, while Noah went with Chad and Clarissa. This time round, we’d be doing a navigation exercise – standing on a sandy patch and navigating in a square using a compass.
This is where my heart skipped a beat and I could feel myself getting smaller. I looked at Emma in shame, my eyes revealing the dread and terror I tried so hard to hide. “My last time navigating was an epic failure” I confessed to her. She agreed she wasn’t much better. First the tanks, then the equalising, and now this. Right then and there, we dubbed ourselves Team Crackhead. We even came up with a hand signal for it, which I guess made it official.
Back in the water, Liam gave me a signal to start the navigation. I completely misread it and hovered for two minutes before realising I was meant to begin. Fail number one. Then, with Emma tracking depth and kick cycles beside me, I gave it a real go. The result? More triangle than square. We had to redo it. Fail number two. North, east, west, south. I finally cracked it. “Success at last!” I grinned, as I chuckled giddily, blowing tiny bubbles like a dork.
Back on the boat, Liam smiled and said it was more of a circle – and while navigation wasn’t perhaps my forte, geometry might’ve been. Emma, meanwhile, was great at direction but kept drifting way too deep or shallow, and I kept trying to level her out. Still, we pulled it off. Team Crackhead was officially in business.
Trivia, Fate, and Missed Karaoke
Just in time for sunset – which would become a daily ritual at Underwater Vision – we chilled, then got ready for a night out. First up was trivia at Tea Garden, a bar down the road and Underwater Vision’s main trivia rival.
On the way there with some random folks I’d just met, I noticed a familiar face: Natalie! Somehow, some way, we kept bumping into each other ever since or trek in El Mirador, Guatemala. We caught up briefly, but our chat was cut short – only four per trivia team. Julia, Emma, and Chad were already my crew – Team Crackhead. We competed against other dive schools, locals, and – to my guilt – the lads from my own hostel. I felt like I had been betraying everyone else!
At first it was a bunch of questions regarding the metric and imperial system which we couldn’t answer to save our lives. . Emma, 100% confident at first, quickly realised she had no clue. Chad using Siri on his iWatch to daftly answer a couple of them without being seen using his phone didn’t help much either. I, for one, was only capable of answering question related to medicine and wildlife – so I guess I wasn’t too useless. Didn’t make much difference though. Did we win? Nope. Did we have fun? Hell yeah.
Not even a little bummed, we headed then to La Cueva, ready for a night of karaoke. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m the biggest karaoke diva out there, meaning I had been all psyched and hyped about this since William the waiter had mentioned it the day before. As fate would have it, the bar was closed. But I’m used to disappointment – my mom trained me all about it after all (side eye). But I bounce back fast. So, we took our show to the street – belting out pop hits like lunatics and annoying every soul trying to sleep.
Stay wild,
Marius
Post-Scriptum
This island might be heaven on Earth, but, the fallen devil has reincarnated in the form of a million sandflies that attack you mercilessly at all times. They’re so bloody relentless!