San Ignacio – Day 3: Bubbles and Borders
SAN IGNACIO
Day 3: Bubbles & Borders
September 29, 2022
The following morning, all sad and teary-eyed, we gave each other one last goodbye kiss and hug. He told me he had no idea what he was gonna do without me. That he wanted to be in my life forever. That he’d move heaven and earth to be with me.
My alarm bells went off. My commitment issues suddenly rose to the surface. In a way, I knew where he was coming from. He didn’t date much, and then suddenly this random guy shows up with whom he immediately clicked. It sounds meant to be, like we were destined to be together. And then suddenly, destiny would just rip us apart.
But to me, I could also say it was just one bead on a string of many beautiful, short-term relationships. To me, all the beautiful memories we had created over the previous few weeks would be forever stored in this bright, shiny bubble that would keep on floating in my head. I’d be able to go back and look at the bubble, feel its warmth and safety. But that’s it. It was all in the bubble now. I learned how to compartmentalise in such a way ever since I started dating. You love, you lose, you move on. And, best of all, you get to have more memories. Some good, some bad.
I tried to talk about the silver linings. That we’d stay in contact. That we’d video chat sometime. That we’d meet again soon. That the feelings we shared wouldn’t change. But I knew none of that was true. We’d inevitably drift apart – I’d go on with my life, and he’d go on with his. We’d speak and video chat regularly perhaps for the first few weeks, then we’d start tailing our conversations off slowly. Maybe we’d meet again, or maybe we wouldn’t. All the promises felt like nothing more than white lies – ones that would ground him, ones that would unravel with time. And when that time came, the blow would be softened. Distance would make it easier. Time would make it better.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have taken it upon myself to try and protect him. In a way, it felt like I had been a tease, like I had led him on or made him think I was in it for the long haul. But whether it was the right call or not, his reassured smile at the end made me feel like I did the right thing. And with that, my fling with Roy too was stored in a bubble.
More tears...
Much like my time with Roy, my time in Belize was also running out. Before leaving for my next destination, I’d have a few hours to actually roam around San Ignacio.
San Ignacio, previously called El Cayo, used to be surrounded by a creek and was thus considered an island. However, with time and human activity, the creek dried up and the town became part of the mainland. While the town was once famous for its production of mahogany and chewing gum, today it’s one of Belize’s most visited spots and thrives on tourism. From wandering the streets and staring in awe at the beautiful street art and colourful buildings, to visiting the central square and markets, I tried to do as much as possible in the little time I had.
Pretty soon, the shuttle bus that would take me across the border to the next country arrived. My time in Belize was incredible, to say the least. It went from being a place I knew almost nothing about to becoming one of my favourite countries on the planet in just three weeks. With so much still left undiscovered, I swore I’d come back one day – if only to finally visit the Cockscomb Basin Wildlife Sanctuary!
Once again, my departure came with a whirlpool of emotions. As much as I hated leaving Belize, I was also looking forward to the next part of my trip. I felt reinvigorated and ready to keep exploring more of Central America. At the same time, I could feel time slipping away. Two months had flown by in a matter of seconds. The remaining six suddenly felt like no time at all…