I.II.VII.III – San Ignacio: Day Three
SAN IGNACIO
I.II.VII.III – DAY THREE
29/09/22
The following morning, all sad and teary eyed, we gave each other one last goodbye kiss and hug. He told me he had no idea what he was gonna do without me. That he wantED to be in my life forever. That he’d move heaven and earth to be with me.
My alarm bells went off. My commitment issues suddenly rose to the surface. In a way, I knew where he was coming from. He didn’t date much and suddenly this random guy shows up with whom he immediately clicked. It sounds meant to be, like we were destined to be together. And suddenly destiny would just rip us apart.
But to me I could also say it was one bead on a string of many beautiful, short-term relationships. To me, all the beautiful memories we had created over the previous few weeks would be forever stored in this bright, shiny bubble that would keep on floating in my head. I’d be able to go back and look at the bubble, feel its warmth and safety. But that’s it. It was all in the bubble now. I learned how to compartmentalise in such a way ever since I had starting dating. You love, you lose, you move on. And, best of all, you have more memories. Some good, some bad.
I tried to talk about the silver linings. That we’d stay in contact, that we’d video chat all the time, that we’d meet again soon, that the feelings we shared wouldn’t change. But I knew none of that was true. We’d inevitably drift apart – I’d go on with my life, and he’d go on with his. We’d speak and video chat regularly perhaps for the first few weeks, then we’d start tailing our conversations off slowly. Maybe we’d meet again, or maybe we wouldn’t. All the promises felt nothing more than white lies – ones that would ground him, ones that would unravel with time. And when that time came, the blow would be softened. Distance would make it easier. Time would make it better.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have taken it upon myself to try and protect him. In a way, it felt like I had been a tease, like I had led him on or made him think I was in it for the long haul. But whether it was the right call or not, his reassured smile at the end made me feel like I did the right thing. And with that, my fling with Roy too, was stored in a bubble.
More tears...
Much like my time with Roy, my time in Belize was also running out. Before leaving to my next destination, I’d have a few hours to actually roam around San Ignacio.
San Ignacio, previously called El Cayo, used to be surrounded by a creek and was thus called an island. However, with time and human activity, this creek dried up and the town returned to a regular land mass. Whilst before the town was famous for its production of mahogany and chewing gum, today, the town is one of Belize’s most visited sites and thrives on tourism. From wandering the streets and staring in awe at the beautiful street art and colourful buildings, to visiting the central square and markets, I tried to do as much as possible in the little time I had.
Pretty soon, the shuttle bus that would take me to the border of the next country was there. My time in Belize was incredible to say the least. It went from being somewhere I knew almost nothing about to being one of my favourite countries on the planet in just three weeks. With so much left undiscovered, I swore to come back one day – but, looking forward to the next part of trip, I felt reinvigorated and ready to go on and explore more of Central America.