I.II.VII.II – San Ignacio: Day Two
SAN IGNACIO
I.II.VII.II – DAY TWO
28/09/22
Something I failed to mention about Roy is that he doesn’t swim. After two swimming-related deaths in his family, he’s remained apprehensive about swimming in areas where his feet don’t touch ground – rightfully so. Which meant we’d spend our penultimate day together apart, having had already booked a tour to the Actun Tunichil Muknal cave, or, as it is more commonly known, the ATM cave – probably a reference to the cost of the tour.
After a 45-minute drive to the nearby village of Teakettle, our group headed to the Tapir Natural Reserve; home to both the ATM cave, and, lo and behold, tapirs – Belize’s national animal. Once we got there, we were introduced to our guide, Alex. He told us that in an effort to protect the cave from excessive tourism, only around twenty guides are licensed to tour the caves and, in addition, only a limited number of tourists are allowed each day. He also told us phones and cameras have been banned since a tourist dropped a camera on the remains of a thousand-year-old skeleton, fracturing its skull. Way to go dumbwat.
Into the unknown...
After the sermon, we proceeded to hike in the jungle, crossing the Roaring River that courses through the tropical reserve three times. With the freezing cold water reaching up to our chest and the shuffling over slippery pebbles, adrenaline levels were high right from the very beginning.
As we went along, Alex showed us all kinds of native plant species, the coolest of which is what they refer to as the ‘give and take’ palm tree. This, he explained, has a powerful toxin in the spikes surrounding the bark, whose antidote can be found in the same tree’s sap which can be obtained by chewing on the bark to form a poultice. Kinda made up for the fact we didn’t get to see any tapirs. Kinda.
Some forty minutes into the hike, we stumbled upon the entry to the ATM cave. The cave system is around five kilometres long, with the river passage taking up around three kilometres. Mayans, much like in Rio Secreto, believed this to be a portal to Xibalba and only priests and their assistants would venture into the depths of the caves, carrying pots filled with offerings to the gods. Whilst the parts close to the entrance were discovered around 300AD, the deeper systems were explored later on in 700AD and were used to conduct ceremonies too.
Armed with hardhats and headlamps, we’d be starting our spelunking adventure by swimming in a pool of water in the hourglass-shaped entrance. From thereon, we made a line and passed through narrow passages that led to the dark depths of the cave until we got to a point called the ‘breakdown’ which refers to a part of the cave where the roof literally caved in. Here we had to climb and jump from one rock to the other, wading in water and squeezing through tiny spaces which would make any claustrophobe pee their pants (as evidenced by the claustrophobe in our group who indeed peed her pants).
Thereafter, the passage leads to various chambers with all kinds of rock formations; stalagmites, stalactites and columns, some looking like bacon, others like curtains and chandeliers. No matter how many times I get to see it, I am always mesmerised by the torch light causing each individual water droplet at the tip of the stalactites to shimmer and make the roof appear like a starry sky. Also the sound they make when they are struck. Being hollow on the inside, different stalactites produce different notes that reverberate along the walls of the cave, with the guides knowing how to strike them to produce a melody. Cool, right?
The highlight of the ATM cave lied deeper into the cave, marked by a stone platform which we had to climb. From there on, we had to take our water shoes off, mostly to minimise erosion, but also to have us practice more caution and avoid crashing more human remains, much like what had happened a few years earlier when yet another tourist stepped on yet another skull. Way to go dumbwat.
Barefoot, we proceeded into a huge chamber where we could see pots and other ceremonial Mayan artefacts scattered around. What was curious about the pots was their simple design, with some being completely plain and a few having a monkey carving around the lid. This, Alex told us, implies that the ceremonies were carried out only by a select few people and that there was no need for the usual intricate patterns found on most Mayan pots elsewhere to impress the crowd – not to mention that the pots would later be broken down. These, we were told, were placed on hearth stones so that the offerings would be burnt and the smoke would rise up to the gods. The hearth stones of Creation, as they are called, come in threes, and represent Orion’s belt which they believed was the cosmic fire of creation.
Apart from pottery, the remains of a dozen victims of human sacrifices can be found, amongst which is a baby’s. From the chamber, a ladder leads to a higher vault where the ATM cave’s jewel can be found. Lying on the ground, perfectly preserved in a shiny crystallised shell, is a calcified skeleton that has been aptly named the “Crystal Maiden”. The name Actun Tunichil Muknal actually means the “Cave of the Crystal Sepulchre” in direct reference to this.
After allowing ourselves some time to soak it all in, we made our way back out of the cave – the sunlight welcoming us back to the outside and the riverbank guiding us back to the starting point. As great as the experience was, I was still a bit disappointed we didn’t stumble upon a tapir or two!
One last time...
Coming back, I was happy to see that Roy had kept himself busy whilst I had been away. Turns out, his cousin Roxy (well, his cousin’s ex-girlfriend actually), happened to live there. Just like that, we had plans for the night – something I wasn’t too keen on given it also happened to be our last night together.
My apprehension quickly wore off the second I started speaking to her. I remained quite baffled as to how impressive she is. She’s the head of Belize’s postal service, she’s studying a Master’s programme and she teaches classes. That night was the first free night she had had in months! Whilst most mental health advocators would recommend a lighter schedule and to prioritise herself more, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for her. I asked her whether she felt like she was spreading herself too thin and how she copes with such a hectic life. Her response was that she does, in fact, spread herself too thin, and that she copes by saying to herself that in a few years’ time, she’ll be right where she wants to be. This empowered her and made her feel strong and resolute. And, she added, she’d be able to afford some rest once she’d get to that place. In the meantime, Roxy was also well-supported by her family, with whom she had been staying for the time being.
It took me back to Dr Bailey on Grey’s Anatomy saying she can’t step down, that she can’t take a break. Women, especially those of colour, have to give it their 100% at all times if they are to make it. A break would signify weakness, fallibility, inability to do what men do. One wrong step, and years of hard work and all that sacrifice would go down the drain. Or at least that’s how society makes it look like. Later on, Dr Bailey herself stepped down, and, contrary to her beliefs, none of that happened. She came back stronger than ever, well-rested, and much more in control than she used to be. The future is female after all, huh?
After a couple of drinks at a bar, we headed to her place where we’d prepare dinner. Roy took control of the kitchen, I was his sous chef and Roxy, much to our insistence, sat down to enjoy some much-deserved chill time. Being an avid slicer ‘n’ dicer, I chopped everything Roy would put in front of me and then took the backseat to see him work his magic. I only dared to offer my expertise in cooking baked potatoes; my one and only specialty. It’s true – friends and family alike can confirm it. I’m salivating just thinking about my baked potatoes. So good! Anyways, my baked potatoes aside, we’d be having pork chops with a special sweet and sour sauce Roy made, using pineapple and god knows what else. What I do know is that we ate all of it in a matter of seconds. It was mouth-wateringly delicious!
In wanting to extend our night a little longer – our last night, Roy suggested we do karaoke. Roxy’s girlfriend joined us for that. We played a little bit of everything, from the classics such as My Heart Will Go On and Wonderwall, to some of my personal favourite guilty pleasures (anyone who really knows me knows that I’m a professional Katy Cat with Hot N Cold being my go-to song). It felt so good being able to belt out loud without a care in the world. If there was one thing I missed about being back home, it was certainly this. Back home, I sing out loud all the time, all day long. When I’m studying or writing or having a shower or just chilling. I’m likely to be compared to a tone-deaf velociraptor, but, I genuinely couldn’t give less of a crap. Singing makes me feel so good, so happy! And whilst being on the road, I had to tone it down a notch. I’d hum and maybe sing softly in my hotel room – something I started doing after being told to keep it down by hotel staff on two separate occasions. But I couldn’t belt out loud. It felt repressing to me, listening to music without being able to sing along. And finally, I could. My rendition of Billie Eilish’s Happier Than Ever’s cover by Kelly Clarkson shall go down in a random Belizean history book – probably one written by Roxy’s neighbours.
By the time we had had dinner and sang our throats off, it was already quite late in the night. It’d be the last night Roy and I would spend together, at least for the foreseeable future anyways. He’d wake up super early the following day so that he’d get to Caye Caulker in time for work, leaving us with only a few hours to say goodbye.
And boy was that a difficult goodbye. In just three weeks, I had fallen for this guy. Well, I fell for him on day one really. But over the previous weeks, I had become smitten. He was the kindest soul I had ever met – attractive, resourceful, funny, protective, loving, hard-working, passionate, selfless, charismatic, good. A good man. One that is so rare to come by nowadays. And I had the honour to be with him, if only for a short while. I knew he had his flaws too, but when you know you’re with someone for such a short time, most of those can be ignored. As he did with mine.