Caye Caulker (Again) – Day 3: Fireworks and Festivities
CAYE CAULKER (AGAIN)
Day 3: Fireworks & Festivities
September 20, 2022
My time in Caye Caulker was running short. Judy, having given Roy her blessing to take my hand in marriage (?!?!), had also bid us adieu. Next up would be me. It was so sad that none of us wanted to think about it.
In wanting to change the subject as we sat day-drinking at Tipsea, Becca suggested we do something a bit ‘childish’ that she does when travelling. We’d take it in turns to mention our favourite memory on the island and then say something about each other. This was something we’d do way back when during a personal and social development (PSD) class. And now I found myself doing the same thing with a group of people I had practically just met! I loved the juxtaposition of Caye Caulker’s ‘go slow’ attitude with how fast everything seemed to progress there. First, it was my fling with Roy, then it was this newfound bond with the Bloodclaat Gang. So, so weird!
After the round was over, everyone was in tears. We had shared some of our deepest, darkest secrets over the few days we’d spent in each other’s company. Becca had confided in us about her miscarriage and how she’s on this trip to do some soul-searching. Oliver told us all about his struggles at work and with his sexuality. And Roy… Roy had told me all about his fair share of trauma. It might’ve just been a few days, but the bond we created seemed timeless. And so, it wasn’t just a trivial exercise.
Commitment Issues
We bore our hearts out to each other, listing each other’s apparent strengths and flaws, amongst other things. As heartwarming as it all was, I still felt a bit weirded out when all of them pointed out that Roy and I looked like an old married couple. I could feel my commitmentophobia acting up there and then!
You see, relationships have never really been my thing. Sure, I’ve had plenty of them over the years, but none that lasted more than six months. Needless to say, there’s more than one reason for this – but if I were to pin it down to one thing, it’d be my commitmentophobia – or, as I’ve come to understand it, my love for freedom. Despite being a romantic who believes in true love, I could never sacrifice my love for liberty. And so far, I had never managed to find someone with whom I could feel both love and freedom. When given the choice, I’d always set myself free.
Here in Caye Caulker, I could live out the fantasy of being someone’s better half and part of an old married couple as much as I wanted – knowing full well that it had an expiry date. I could give in and let myself fall for Roy without it compromising my freedom. Maybe that’s why it all felt so good, so pure. And, once I’d get to say goodbye, our fling (or whatever), would forever remain floating in a bright and shiny bubble. Until I’d find someone who can make me feel like that indefinitely, I’ll be happy roaming the world on my own.
Independence Day
Before I’d leave, there was one last thing to look forward to. Whilst my birthday was the previous week, it was finally time to celebrate another one. This time round, the candle would be lit for Belize! On the 21st of September, Belize celebrates its Independence Day – and I’d be lucky enough to attend its 41st!
Belize, much like my own country Malta – which coincidentally celebrates its own independence on the same day – was a British colony until Britain relinquished control in 1981. Also coincidentally, and on a darker note, Queen Elizabeth II had passed away just a few days earlier. Being so fond of her, it was a blow to most Belizeans – though that didn’t quite stop them from celebrating their independence. And celebrate it they do. Belizeans are sure to go all out on this special day – way more than us Maltese ever do. Whilst for us it’s just a public holiday, which means nothing more than a day off work (unless you’re a healthcare professional, of course), celebrations in Belize are more akin to a grand festival.
Festivities started the night before the holiday with a foam party at Sports Bar and a concert right next to it. From Soca to Reggae, we danced the night away – even more so when the rain started pouring! By that time, Becca and I had actually grown to enjoy the music ourselves. And this time round, it’d be my turn to get up on stage. All I could think as I was being dragged up there was, “I don’t wanna be the obnoxious, culturally-appropriating white guy pissing all over their celebrations.” Despite my internal monologue and many objections, I found myself up there with about fifteen other people. With the crowd cheering us on, my pathetic albeit enthusiastic dancing turned out not to be the worst thing Caye Caulker had seen in all its history. That only reaffirmed the feelings I felt for that island and its people – a sense of inclusivity unlike any other…
The concert was followed by what they call the juve – a full-on parade along the perimeter of the island, with floats and costumes, singing and dancing all the way. This, unfortunately, I missed out on. After two weeks of partying almost every day, my body had had enough, and I literally couldn’t bear any more drinking and partying. I decided I’d rather rest and recover in preparation for the following day.