I.II.I.IV – Caye Caulker: Day Four
CAYE CAULKER
I.II.I.IV- DAY FOUR
12/09/22
I woke up to the bitter realisation that I had lost my nipple piercing sometime the day before. By that time, the wound had already practically closed. In not wanting my nipple to look misshapen and scarred, I took the very wise decision of repiercing it myself – with the blunt metal stud itself. I disinfected it and then just went for it, feeling a pain that is only comparable to that of April Kepner being sliced open without any anaesthesia during her impromptu C-section. I swear, by the end, I was this pale, trembling shell of a man. Best birthday gift ever!
Diving was literally the last thing on my mind. I made my way to Frenchie’s once again and there, I was met with Kate and Szimon; siblings from Poland who’d be tagging along for the course, and Giovanni; our instructor. We immediately bonded over our unrelenting hatred towards the videos we had to watch and over our reluctance to take the test. I mean, come on, we were on a holiday for Christ’s sake! Giovanni quickly reassured us that it’d be a piece of cake, mostly cause we’d be taking the actual exam paper with us at home. And, he added, it’d truly be a piece of cake once we’d actually start diving.
That, the actual diving part, was another thing that set my anxiety through the roof. All my life I had been uncoordinated as hell. After learning about such complex equipment and how to use it without screwing up and drowning on the videos, I was sure I’d mess it all up. How to set up the buoyancy controlling device (BCD) and how to attach the regulator through which we’d be breathing to it and to the air cylinder, how to check if the set-up is good and how to test for faults, how to jump from the boat, how to breathe from the regulator, how to purge, how to perform emergency surfacing, how to use a compass, how to calculate how much air’s left, how to calculate how much nitrogen’s in your body, how to – WAAAA! I was this close to going bonkers. “Chill!” was all Giovanni had to say, “We’ll go over it step by step, little by little!”. And so we did.
With that, he had us sit on the pier and started briefing us on what we’d be doing. We then put on our wetsuits (effectively making us like the Michelin Tyre mascot), checked our gear one last time and then jumped on the boat. We’d be practicing five minutes away from the coast, and lemme tell you, those five minutes were filled with pure dread and excitement. As soon as we got there, we were motioned towards the edge of the boat where we’d be sitting, helped into our gear and then we’d do a back-roll by simply flipping backwards.
Kate went in first on accounts of being a lady, followed by Syzmon and then, yours truly. The second I touched water, I realised I could float easily without needing to swim. Step one, check. After all of us gave Giovanni the ‘okay’ hand symbol, he joined us and proceeded to guide us through some surface skills. Whilst most things were simple, I do have to admit that breathing from the regulator felt pretty much like how I’d imagine breathing for Darth Vader feels like – it’d definitely need some time to get used to! Then, with the low-pressure inflator (LPI) held up high in our left hands, we cautiously pressed the button as we started to sink, slowly, slowly. Step two, check.
One of the only things I seemed to remember from the videos the day before was “You’ll never forget your first breath underwater!”. Boy was it right! It felt incredible, being able to sink without drowning. It felt as if I had unlocked a new skill. The deeper we sank, the more the pressure in my ears increased. I equalised until I felt nothing but excitement, and then, suddenly, I could feel my fins touching the seafloor. Step three, check. I knew we’d need to practice the skills we’d set out to practice, but there and then, it felt like I had done it. I felt superhuman, as if I had mastered the art of breathing underwater!
The practice session was a bit of a reality check. We went over a dozen skill sets, such as putting the regulator back on if it gets dislodged from your mouth and clearing the mask when it gets super foggy. We all did the same thing a couple of times over until we were just bored, and then, we headed out for a short yet exhilarating dive. Whilst most of my attention was focused on doing well and not drowning, I can’t say I wasn’t the least bit distracted by the incredible sealife that surrounded us.
Perspective
Back on land, I felt like a completely different person. Somehow, it felt as if I had reconnected with the sea – a place that used to be my home, a place I had been away from for so, so long. Though it was my first time ever, I was certain it was gonna become a big part of my life.
I didn’t have much time to dwell on my adventures given that it was my birthday and that I had to fend off a few thousand calls from friends and family alike. As much as I missed my friends, I have to admit that I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. It’s funny how I felt more at home here than I had ever felt back in Malta. There, I’d have everything waiting for me – my job, my friends, my routine. The life I had worked so hard to build. Here? Here I had one thing – freedom. And that seemed to trump everything else. I know that might sound naïve, especially after having been abroad for just one month. I knew I might not say the same thing in a couple of months’ time when the stress and exhaustion of being constantly on the go would hit me. But that’s how it felt at that moment – like I could keep at it forever.
I would’ve gladly done that were it not for my undying love for medicine. As much as I loved being on the road, as much as I loved being free and independent and carefree, I still missed my job terribly. At times, I’d find myself wondering whether I had in fact made a mistake by leaving that part of my life behind. When my friends and colleagues would recount the crazy tales that are a routine part of hospital life, it’d feel as if someone was boring a hole through my insides. I missed everything that had to do with my job – even the things that would drive me mad, the things that would have me reconsider everything about my life.
I’d go back to it after this trip, sure, but would I be as good at it as I used to be? Would I have that same passion for it? At that point, I only knew one thing – that that’d be something I’d have to figure out the following year. And so, as I enjoyed a couple of celebratory beers on the beach with the Caribbean sunset gracing my eyes, I let myself enjoy the present. For the time being, I’d be free. For the first time in twenty-seven years, I was completely free. What a way to start the next year of my life…
