II.I.II – Entropy
II.I.II
ENTROPY
Try as I might, change led its way through. It was inevitable. The momentum had been building up and something just had to give. The ball I was standing on had started rolling and before long it felt like I was trying to balance on it while it kept moving ahead at light-speed. Much like what had happened a few years back when I felt like I had been awakened, I had undergone yet another metamorphosis and my life underwent another 360 soon enough.
Change came to me in multiple tiny doses at first. Some of it was intentional, albeit kinda trivial on the grand scheme of things. Like for example when I felt the urge to get off my butt and do something different like cooking. I went from being unable to boil an egg to preparing all kinds of exotic dishes. In fact, I can make some mean takoyaki now and I dare you to outcook me (unless you’re a chef, in which case I totally submit to you and your cooking skills).
I also managed to turn my black thumb in for a green one. I was finally growing my own ingredients. From fruit and flowers to all kinds of herbs I seemed like I had it all. My roof garden was not unlike the Amazon rainforest. Flourishing and thriving. So lush, so green! Until that one apocalyptic week when that wretched heatwave assassinated them all. My poor babies… Taken away from us all too soon.
Oh and the ocarina! Of course I’d start off my first ever musical journey with such a random instrument. Guitars and pianos are too cliché for someone as weird as I am. But anyways, moving on. None of these things were life-changing. They were just little changes that felt as if they were giving colour to my dull, grey, boring life. Things that once seemed a waste of time became something I looked forward to. Things that I thought myself unable to do became new achievable goals.
All throughout, I was also expanding my knowledge of medicine exponentially. Having always been fascinated by the brain, it’s no wonder that studying neurology was somewhat of a hobby – learning stuff we wouldn’t need to know until we’d actually graduate and start our practice. I think it was around that time that I decided to become a neurosurgeon – a specialty that would reconcile my passion for both neurology and surgery.
It felt like I was finally on my way to becoming a polymath. Otherwise known as a Renaissance man or a universal man, a polymath is someone whose expertise spans a large variety of subjects. Basically a jack of all trades, with some being master of all. You know, like Leonardo da Vinci or Benjamin Franklin (or a friend of mine who’s a doctor but also doubles as an interior designer, a weaver, a pianist, a botanist and an exotic animal collector…). How cool is that huh? These people could do anything they set their mind to do. There’s one quote that perfectly summarises this whole concept:
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
– Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
This was something I had aspired to become way back when I was still very young. Back when I was still kid Marius. A goal so seemingly impossible I had actually forgotten about it. But now that I could cook (ish), grow (some) stuff and play (a couple of songs on) the ocarina? I was practically unstoppable. I could do anything and everything I’d set my mind to do – maybe even take up a sport or start to learn a different language too.
And that’s when I usually end up screwing things up. I bite off way more than I can chew and then just drop everything at once, reverting to my usual routine. Basically, a cycle of long periods of stasis punctuated by random spikes of activity that dissipate into nothingness soon after. Definitely not sustainable.
Luckily enough, I had been through this rodeo once or twice before so I knew better this time round. It would only take one magical secret ingredient to make it work. One I always struggled to find and maintain – balance. As boring and cliché as that might be, balance is also life-changing. Ironically, boring balance is what led to me having a more dynamic lifestyle.
By learning how to manage my time and energy, I could finally do way more than I previously thought I could. Somehow, my life wasn’t just about medicine anymore. I had room for other stuff too – and I was a much better person for it. I mean don’t get me wrong, don’t think I’m some sort of a well-accomplished freak or a life guru. But at least I did get the ball rolling. Slowly, but steadily. And since then, change has been a constant part of my life.